A note to my therapist

Do you have any kids?

I need you to want to help me.

I want you to be able to trust me, that I will ask for help if I need it.

I am suggestible. Work with me to develop the positive. Ask me what’s right. I will ask you about the negative when I’m ready to talk about it.

I don’t want you to diagnose me. Symptoms are just signs of me not understanding my feelings. Symptoms are not signs of illness. If I’m doing something unhealthy repeatedly, it’s only because I haven’t realized that it’s unhealthy yet. I need you to teach me that it’s not healthy. Teach me. Telling me makes me angry. Instead, try letting me read it in a textbook or a journal. Or a novel with a character with those symptoms. I’ll never fault the messenger if I can see the message as something separate. I know that you know what you know. I respect that. But I need to learn it for myself.

And I really need you to be patient with me. I want to be well. It’s what I want most in life. It’s what I’d never sacrifice, trade, bargain on, or have stolen from me. I will fight to be well until the day I die. What’s more, I want everyone else to be well, too.

So please, please don’t diagnose me.