I have a sick need for critique. I inherited it from my mom, along with her diamond earrings. That lady gave it to me straight. And I haven’t found anyone else who is that genuinely critical since she died. Bad haircut? She’d tell me. Pants that looked cheap? She didn’t spare my feelings.
I’ve been without an editor for six years now. I’m doing okay, but life is boring. I need to change it up. I want to tell you my stories, the secret ones. The ones that have been simmering and growing into their own. I want to tune into my private radio station and retrieve those old tales, and I want you, dear reader, to listen. I want you to critique. Tell me what I need to add, take away. I’m baring myself to you and I’m asking you to take your best shot. Trust me, it will feel like love to me.
Let’s do something interesting together.
Written for Yeah Write’s 31 Days to a Better Blog.
I like how you jumped right into your pitch without a prelude. At first, I thought you were sharing the back story. Then, I realized you were explaining your blog name and your blogging intentions at the same time as you offered a brief glimpse of your mom. I love the way you invite your readers in as participants in the blog.
Thanks! Yeah, I had to dive right in to fit it into 150 words.
This feels very inviting in an almost sexy way — very cool. And something I’d find incredibly intriguing. Nicely done!
Thanks, that’s exactly what I’m going for, so that means a lot!
This pitch is amazing. It makes me want to go back through your blog archives and read everything that you have written. It’s fun and a little mysterious, and also gets exactly to the point of what you are trying to do here.
Sam, I think this is the best compliment I’ve ever gotten! Thank you.
This pitch made me want to read more of your blog for sure. I wasn’t sure if the whole thing was pitch though, or part of it was back story – but either way: very intriguing!
A very compelling pitch–and very brave too! I can get pretty crushed by criticism myself (but I do appreciate it).
Definitely intriguing. I like this.
What an awesome metaphor using your mother. It draws you in but pricks the reader at the same time. Probably the most complicated relationship we have in life is with our parents. Like the other comments, this makes you want to read more.
Thanks! I am excited about writing more.
I like the story, the energy and the vibe, the way you draw the reader in with a request to help you edit your story. It makes us invested in the outcome.
Thanks, Erin! I appreciate your opinion.
You create a strong dialogue – a real back & forth that pulls us into your world–tunes us to your radio station. I confess, though, that if I were asked what your blog “does,” however, I wouldn’t be quite sure. It’s a fiction writing/memoir building tool? A narrative about your mother (who sounds like a kick-ass lady)…So while I’m intrigued & want to know more, I’m also a bit distanced because I don’t know quite what’s what. Not necessarily a deal breaker, but just wanting to put that out there.
Thanks so much for your comment. You inspired me to write another, more sales-y version of my pitch.
I liked your pitch. It felt dynamic. I wanted to know a bit more about you, specifically, though. Like whose private radio station am I going to be tuning into? Because if it’s, say, the next Michelle Bachmann’s I’m going to feel differently about it than if it’s wine, cheese, and poetry aficionado’s, know what I mean? I really enjoy your blog, though, so I’m already sold.
Thanks, Larks! I think you’ll have to stick around to get to know me, though. And my station? I’m always adding to it, so tell me what you like.
No prob, Baby… I’m listening…