Great Grandpa Yonie taught Gretchen to play mah jong and he taught her to find pictures in things but he never loved her. He liked her well enough, Gretchen knew, but she was never his favorite. “Your cousin Sam, now he’s a mensch,†Yonie liked to say whenever she stumbled over her tiles.
Years later, when Gretchen searched for Sam at the address Aunt Rachel had frantically scribbled on a scrap of paper, she noticed the interlocking stars on the grate. Stars of David, Gretchen could practically hear Yonie’s gravelly voice in her ear. A chill washed over her.
I know, this is a dark one. Can you do better?
Cool. I see you saw it, too. Brilliant minds think alike. 😉
But, the story reads well, too. Descriptions very vivid, real people. Wonderful.
Yep, I went dark too, using the Magen David as my inspiration. I wonder of Sam being a mensch led to his downfall….
Dear E.M.
Dark and a feeling of reality. Loved your use of “mensch”. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
It is dark. Can’t say I understand it all, but it’s a good read.
Did you use the title to let us know what had happened to the house? The rest of the story seems to focus on Grandpa and his relationship with Gretchen and hearing Grandpa’s voice.
janet
Thanks for the question. I guess I’m really telling a longer story and 100 words isn’t cutting it. The title is meant to be taken literally, that Gretchen is searching for — and finding — her cousin at a crack house.
Good story and something else is going on here. Good job! Nan 😉
Good story that tells the love, yet problems within a family. Well done.
Dark, but I love the evocative imagery. Stars of David just fits in there so well 🙂