Mike stood and watched them play from the boardwalk, the hot, rough wooden slats making his wound ache. He peered at them, admiring them despite the sun in his eyes.
Mike darted up the hot sand and scooped his baby daughter into his arms. He dashed into the soapy tide just far enough to wet his feet and soak her small body. His deep laughter drowned out her squeals.
Mike stood aching on the boardwalk and watched the scene before him, the young father dipping his laughing baby into the sea, and he wished he could wash away the years.
100 words for this week’s Friday Fictioneer’s challege. Why don’t you go ahead and give it a try?
Nicely done. Lots of stories within this story!
Regards
Jim
Oh,for the times gone by-nostalgia laced with regrets-sad!Great job 🙂
Dear E.M.
Oh that we could go back and do it over. Would things change? Nice one.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Haunting imagery. As someone who writes a lot about going back, aging… this really struck a chord. Really beautiful writing, and scene building.
Great twist on time at the end. Love it.
Nice twist at the end. We all have things we’d like to go back and change, don’t we? I like the double ache you showed–that of his wound and of his heart. Did you consider having the middle paragraph in italics, setting it a bit more apart from the other two? Just a thought. Nice job.
janet
i enjoyed your story…the aching of a wound, the time he wished he could erase.
Wonderful story! Losing a child would be a horrible way to spend life wishing “if only..” Good job! Nan
Lovely story. Well done. As they say, looking back casts shadows. We do sometimes though.
A lovely wee tug at the heartstings at the end