“He taught me how to read people’s eyes, ya know what I mean?†I lifted one a my tools, a heavy-ass poker, and moved toward the roarin fire. Flames curlin outta the fireplace. Damn, shit was hot.
“Nah, you don’t know nuthin, do ya, kid?†Kid cowered where I tossed him on the floor, shaking his skinny little white-boy ass off. He was scared. Real scared.
“Lemme tell ya, kid. My Pop, he a man, kid. A real MAN, ya know?†The tip of the poker got red-hot but I didn’t take it outta the fire yet. Kid whimpered.
“Pop, he work real hard, ya know? He did whatever he hada to keep the groceries comin in. He a MAN.†Kid eyed up the fire and trieda scoot back a little. Welts was comin up on his little ass, his butt-ugly face. Good.
“Pop was real nice mosta the time. He’da laugh at anythin, mosta the time. Momma n him’d be laughin upa God-damn storm mosta the time.†That gave me a laugh, rememberin dat. Poker was headin near orange already. Nice.
“But every once ina while, kid, Pop’d get angry. Somethin’d piss him off and he’d go off drinkin, stay away hours, days, once even weeks. Shit. Momma was half-dead time he took two weeks a come home. Shit.†Tipa the poker was blue. Kid cryin then, sad little screechy sound kinda gotta me. Didn’t stop me, though.
“So, times when Pop’d get angry, he got MEAN. Real mean. You ain’t never seen nuthin like it, kid.†Kid’s face was bleedin where I wooped him.
“Pop’d come bargin in, all drunk n shit, dirty, smellin like a barrel. Thing is, kid, Pop always dressed nice, clean, n he was always laughin, never mad. Till the drink got’m.†Memory kinda got me. Poker was hot n heavy.
“He’d come bargin in and first thing, he’d get Momma. She’d be screamin upa storm, putting upa fight like she did, and there was nuthin nobody could do, ya know?†Kid squirmed and whimpered. Underneath’m, a river a piss. Damn.
“Not nobody could stop him, kid,†I took a step closer to’m, makin a few slashes ina air wid the hot poker. Like Pop useda do.
“Big bro useta try’n protect me and all, ya know. Ya gotta big bro, kid?†Kid too far goneta talk. “He’d tell me go hide n all, but it ain’t never help. Pop always find me.†Swish, swish, closer to the kid.
“This one time, he gotta poker from the fire, like this one I got here,†I waved it right up in his pasty little face. Kid cryin real bad.
“Pop, he angry, he drunk, and he come lookin for me. He find me under the bed all crammed up in the corner. He drag me out, toss me around. Like you, kid,†I shot him a smile but kid don’t get it.
“He standin dere, holding the blue-hot poker, and he smilin. But his eyes ain’t smilin, ya know what I mean, kid? His eyes just dark and angry and fulla the Devil. Shit.†Kid tries to scootch sideways along the wall but it ain’t work. He too scared.
“Why’m I tellin ya this, kid? Ya don’t givea shit.†I gave’m a poke on’is ugly face and he yelped real loud. Another. Another. I went someplace else. I was stabbin him n runnin the poker down his skinny chest and his bony back. The lines showed up real nice on his white skin. I played around with’m, havin fun, laughin like Pop usedta, and I starteda wonder what my eyes were sayin.
What are my eyes, sayin, kid? I didn’t ask it, though. Just kept havin my way with him, makin him sing his sad wails, makin him piss again, makin him cry, over and over, everythin the same.
“Don’tya worry, kid,†I boomed in Pop’s voice. I laughed Pop’s laugh. “I ain’t gonna kill ya, kid.†Nah. Pop never killed me, did’e? Nah. Once a kid all marked up real nice, red lines criss-crossin and repeatin like mine, I all done wida torment. I cleaned off the poker like Pop useda, n put it away so kid don’t see it.
I cleaned’m up real nice, like Pop useda. I even sang’m those old spirituals, like Pop did. Everythin the same. I put the fire out n took’m back where I found’m.
what in the ever lovin world possessed you to write this? holy crap i thought i took mine dark this week… 🙂 not compared to this i didn’t!!
absolutely LOVE the voice and the fact that this made me so incredibly uncomfortable. spot on.
Haha! Thanks, Christina. I just write whatever I have inside me for the prompt, I don’t question it. It must be some form of mental illness…
Certainly thought provoking, emotionally stimulating. In a disquietingly uncomfortable way. Quite a feat!
Thank you for the praise, Kit!
Wowzers. I am STILL glued to my computer screen. You took me there and scared the $hit outta me. I’ll remember this story for a long, long time…
Uncompromising and discomforting. What else have you got?
(Interesting juxtaposition with the Escher).
Thank you. I think I have it all…
The Escher was the prompt. I meant the story to be a sort of repeating loop, like the stairs and waterfall. It was loosely based this time.
That was creepy! My heart rate still hasn’t returned to normal 🙂 Excellent use of the prompts. I like that you let your imagination fly and just go with it.
Thanks! I really don’t know how else to write.
Powerful, bitter and compelling. Fabulous, discomforting writing.
Thank you!
Oh so horrifying. Unbelievably good writing. I winced, I cringed, my stomach turned: you had me. The voice and inner thoughts made the tormentor’s motivations and raw feelings so clear. Amazing.
Thank you for the thoughtful comments, Silverleaf!
Um, very dark. Like midnight, pitch black dark. I don’t think I’d ever want to know what goes on inside your mind. Although I loved the voice. Also, this reigns true to a lot of people who were physically abused as children. They tend to be physical a users when they get older. But it’s still dark and twisted.
Haha! Everything goes on in my mind, Moniqua! Everything. It’s a crazy place. 😉
So incredibly vivid and dark as hell — American Psycho meets Candyman.
/claps
Freakin’. Awesome.
Thank you so much, S.J. Paige! You’re awesome.
Dialect is so hard to do — I’m terrified of it, but you use it with such confidence. The fact that I had a hard time getting through this is testimony to how convincingly you captured evil and the son of evil.
I wouldn’t say that I use it with confidence. It’s something that comes to me sometimes and it works best if I don’t overthink it.
Very nicely done, I liked the dark tone.
Thank you, sir. Nice to see you around here. 🙂
So brutal and disturbing. I love the way you write your characters’ voices – always so real and so believable, which adds to the darkness in this piece. Creative and well-written! 🙂
Thank you, Suzanne!
I can’t say what Suzanne said any better than she did.
Thanks for reading! I agree, Suzanne does leave the best comments. 🙂
The build-up in this was killer. So disturbing. I kept hoping it wasn’t going to go the way it looked like it was going. Nicely executed.
I agree, it was uncomfortable but riveting. How did you manage to achieve that? Great job as always.
Yikers! Diary of a psychopath. This was seriously intense. The narrator’s twisted ways had me on edge the whole way through. I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. A seriously dark, well-written story.
That’s quite disturbing. So sad he couldn’t overcome his upbringing.