I love you, I wrote.
I didn’t say I’m glad you’re alive, but I am.
I did not write about how I always thought this day would come.
I didn’t mention all the nights I’ve laid awake worrying about you.
I definitely didn’t bring up how much you scare me, or how angry you’ve made me over the years. I would never admit how, without even trying, you stole the fun out of my life. I didn’t mention the word trust but I also didn’t call you a thief.
Instead, let’s talk about how I’ve trained for this day, working out, strengthening my body and mind. I’m ready for you. I’m here for you. I love you.
i think what terrifies me most about letting her into my life is her seemingly getting better on the surface, but the same destruction underneath, laying silent and waiting to strike. then, one day it does. i don’t think i could handle that.
You’re absolutely right to be afraid of that. I am too. I have more to say about this…
This is absolutely unsettling. I know nothing about you, but I feel like I’m getting to know you. And this post makes me sad.
Thanks, Samara. It really is unsettling.